I never thought moving would be so sad/depressing...

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I never thought moving would be so sad/depressing...

Postby KelsieG on Tue Apr 10, 2012 10:43 pm

I've been crying for what feels like months over the agonizing decision to sell my house. I've lived in many places, many apartments, and many houses in my short life (I'm 29), but this was the first place I've ever owned...and the first place that, truly, is woven into my soul.

I fell in love with it before it was even for sale. It's a 1907 Victorian in a town on the Ohio River. It has ALL of the original (unpainted!) woodwork, fireplace mantles/tiles, transom windows, pocket doors, plate rails, picture rails, butler's pantry, crown molding, etc. etc. I got it for an incredible price and over the last four years, I have filled it with my favorite things, my favorite people, and my favorite smells, music, and colors. The backyard was almost all concrete and gravel, but I busted my butt to turn it into an urban farm of sorts. Raised beds have allowed me to grow hundreds and hundreds of pounds of organic food for myself and my friends. An area of ground that was not rocky was turned into a circular medicinal herb garden. All of this was overseen by an ancient holly tree--the arborist who repaired it after a devastating ice storm told me it was the largest, most beautiful holly tree he'd ever seen.

I bought this house with high hopes that the surrounding neighborhood would improve, but things have only declined. The next door neighbors, in particular, have moved a ton of extra people in with them, and the noise level is definitely destroying my quality of life. I fell in love with a man who is a musician and needs a place to record, but there's so much ambient noise surrounding the house, there's no hope of getting a good take. There's also a good deal of crime in the area now. Everytime there's another drug bust or another gang fight in the street, I can't WAIT to move...but in the quiet moments...I'm overcome with sadness again.

In a total twist of fate and serendipity, I found out that a farmhouse about 8 miles outside of town is in foreclosure and practically being given away by the bank...it's a farmhouse I noticed on a drive several years ago and felt a very strong attraction to. Things are falling into place. Even in a terrible housing market, in a less-than-desirable neighborhood, I have several people clamoring for my home (and I haven't even put a sign in the yard). But...I'm incredibly depressed to leave this place. The farmhouse is amazing and I can finally realize my dream of having a market garden to produce specialty heirloom vegetables...but it also needs a ton of work to restore it to its former grandeur. I've spent a long time making my house in town my own, and I love it dearly--as does everyone else who walks through the door. It's a house that says "home." I think its spirit speaks to everyone in a way that so many houses DON'T.

I suppose I'll stop crying once the deal is done and I'm sweating over my new farmhouse...but it's definitely a very, very bittersweet parting, and while I'm excited about what lies ahead, I can't help but cry every time I think of the gorgeous fireplaces and other lovely details belonging to someone else. :(

Has anyone else ever felt so torn/depressed over selling and moving, even when the new situation could be the answer to a dream?? I might be selling my home to some very good friends of mine, but I'm not sure if that will make me feel better or worse. There's also still a lot up in the air. My offer on the farmhouse is contingent upon selling the house I'm in...and who knows...even though the farmhouse has been on the market for over a year, I fear someone might swoop in and take it from me. I'm so turned around and twisted up, I'm not even sure how I feel about ANYTHING anymore, but underneath it all...I feel in my gut like this is a chance for a great new beginning. I'm just. So. Sad.

And because you'll want to see it...I've attached a photo of the outside of the farmhouse.
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Pretty Good 1907 House

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Re: I never thought moving would be so sad/depressing...

Postby wletson on Wed Apr 11, 2012 4:35 am

Your farmhouse is absolutely charming!
Over time, I'm sure you will have an equally positive relationship with your new home.
Image1883 Schoolhouse, rural Ontario, Canada
warren
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Re: I never thought moving would be so sad/depressing...

Postby James on Wed Apr 11, 2012 9:38 am

Well for what its worth, I understand how gut wrenching moving can be. The last time I moved was out of an apartment(which is now for sell as a condo) that I had lived in for 11 years and LOVED. I swore I would NEVER move again after that. It took me over a year to get to the point I felt comfortable in my current house, despite all the trouble I went to get it and move here. I still need to do SO much to it. You will likely always have an attraction to the house you are selling(I've been to look at the condo/ old apartment). But for my money the farm house looks to be a nicer place. And there is a LOT to be said for living out in the country and not having people right up under you(specially some of the ones you seem to have). But I honestly wonder if I could ever go thru the misery of moving again. Hang in there. Won't say it gets easier, but it does eventually get OVER.
Locust Quarter, circa 1770 Georgian Gambrel roofed cottage.
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Re: I never thought moving would be so sad/depressing...

Postby pqtex on Wed Apr 11, 2012 1:39 pm

While I understand your heart strings to your current home, the current neighborhood you described would be the deciding factor for me.

I love my old home because it has been in my family since it was built in 1913. I have many happy memories growing up next door to my grandparents, who inherited this house from my grandmother's parents. In addition to memories and stories, I have a collection of family stories, written by an elderly cousin, about life in this house and about my great-grandparents who built it. What was once outside the city limits, is now in a busy part of town. Even though I have a 3.75 acre oasis located at the end of a dead-end street with very little traffic; and I have lovely old trees, herb gardens, vegetable garden, and fruit and pecan orchard, I can see the freeway and hear traffic and sirens. I can hear and feel the bass booming from cars that drive around the surrounding neighborhoods. Although my immediate neighborhood feels safe, and my neighbors are, for the most part, okay, with only minor quirks, crime, drugs, and gang activity have inceased in the last few years. I get mad every time I leave the house and drive a few blocks and see what my city is coming to. I hate seeing homes and yards being treated disrespectfully by their so-called guardians. Except for extended family members, the city has nothing for me. They are all elderly and by the time they are gone, I will probably be stuck here because I won't be able to afford to go anywhere else.

If I sold this house, however, I don't think, I could ever come back to see it. I think I would have to say goodbye and not return, unless I had reliable information that whoever bought it was treating it lovingly. Even then, it would never be the same. My brother purchased our family camphouse from my parents (with my blessing). We spent many happy weekends and summers there for over 50 years. He is the best guardian for it, and has children and grandchildren who continue the traditions. He has promised that all family members can continue to use it as before, but even minor redecorations and updates have made me feel like a stranger there, which is my problem, not anyone's fault. I felt very sad the last time I was there. It just wasn't the same anymore.

In your situation, you are young and can make choices that are no longer available to me. I would move to the country in a heartbeat. Buy your farmhouse, work towards your goals and dreams, and don't look back, except in your memories.

Good luck with your decision...and please keep us posted.

Jill
Image
My great-grandparents' 1913 farmhouse

Too bad the spam got so bad. Some of us have been spending time at the new community for folks with a love of old houses at wavyglass.org
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Re: I never thought moving would be so sad/depressing...

Postby YinzerMama on Wed Apr 11, 2012 2:39 pm

we just walked on an offer for another house.

i am irrationally in love with my own house. it is gorgeous, in great shape, lots of original stuff. we have enough room, we have a great yard, i love everything about it - except the neighborhood is too quiet, no kid action, and schools are meh. not awful, not wonderful. very average.

so we found a house in a better school district.

on the edge of a great neighborhood.

but the house itself was smaller. it would have worked but there was less common space and i hated that.

the yard was smaller.

parking was awful.

the most overwhelming nail in the coffin was being unable to get over my hatred of the new bamboo floors. and at the price being asked it wasn't something i could replace.

so we walked. i am sure we will move in time for a better school - but i want it to be to a home i love, not a home i resent. it will be hard leaving this house but i am sure there is a house out there that has enough going for it that it will be worth it.

sounds to me like your new place has a lot of positives... and it is darling. :)
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1938 or '39 craftsman-like bungalow-like kinda thing
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Re: I never thought moving would be so sad/depressing...

Postby Sashguy on Fri Apr 13, 2012 1:20 am

It's a beautiful home, you have done well. I grew up in the Houston Heights. In the 70's it started going down to the point that we felt that we needed to move. We sold our home at a loss and moved to the burbs. Within five years, we realized that the crime had followed us. Shortly thereafter, as it is a beautiful area, and in close proximity to downtown, the Heights had a resurgence on a dramatic scale. In order to move back her, I ended up paying a premium. Were I to have a chance to do it again, I would have built a sturdy fence, put in burglar bars and bought a shotgun.
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Re: I never thought moving would be so sad/depressing...

Postby pqtex on Fri Apr 13, 2012 1:40 am

Sashguy wrote:Were I to have a chance to do it again, I would have built a sturdy fence, put in burglar bars and bought a shotgun.


Since you are in the window business, do you have any knowledge (or an opinion) about products called Shatter Guard, Storm Guard, or Vehicle Guard? Advertised to be applied directly to the interior side of the window glass and is supposed to be very effective at providing security and preventing glass breakage. I read about it in a newsletter sent by my insurance agent.
Image
My great-grandparents' 1913 farmhouse

Too bad the spam got so bad. Some of us have been spending time at the new community for folks with a love of old houses at wavyglass.org
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Re: I never thought moving would be so sad/depressing...

Postby Sashguy on Fri Apr 13, 2012 3:19 pm

pqtex wrote:
Sashguy wrote:Were I to have a chance to do it again, I would have built a sturdy fence, put in burglar bars and bought a shotgun.


Since you are in the window business, do you have any knowledge (or an opinion) about products called Shatter Guard, Storm Guard, or Vehicle Guard? Advertised to be applied directly to the interior side of the window glass and is supposed to be very effective at providing security and preventing glass breakage. I read about it in a newsletter sent by my insurance agent.


No.... I work almost exclusively with cylinder glass, or as most people refer to as "Wavy Glass". It's not heat treated as is modern glass, so I'm very cautious about installing any type of film, as it can promote heat absorption and resulting breakage.
I am currently conducting a test on 16 panes where we have installed a ceramic based e-film and have had one of them crack already. I haven't dissected the pane as of yet to see if improper pointing was a contributing factor, but will do so and report back after a full temperature cycle is complete.
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Re: I never thought moving would be so sad/depressing...

Postby pqtex on Fri Apr 13, 2012 3:51 pm

We were thinking more along the lines of installing it on an exterior storm window (on the interior side of the storm). We were also thinking of putting the storms on the adjustable arms so they could be left on permanently for better energy efficiency and security, but could be opened for ventilation. We were going to use our existing/original wood screen frames for this, with some adaptations to the frames. We hadn't come to a conclusion on how we were going to do the screens...maybe removeable inserts into the window while the storm was open. We were discussing lexan or plexi for the storm when I saw the article on the storm guard. I do have the wavy glass windows and I certainly don't want to do any damage to them. I had wondered if it was possible for the storm guard/shatter guard to be applied on them, but since they aren't totally flat, due to wavy and flaws and bubbles, I figured it wouldn't work anyway. Besides, we wanted to improve the energy efficiency (i.e. prevent air loss in summer/air infiltration in winter) and thought the permanent exterior storm would take care of that as well as have a permanent hurricane protection system (and security year round) without covering the windows with plywood every time a hurricane threatens.

I had intended to start a thread on this topic a while back, but decided to wait until I had more details worked out, but I jumped the gun when I asked about it here! Kelsie, I'm sorry for the hijack (and sorry about the termites).
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My great-grandparents' 1913 farmhouse

Too bad the spam got so bad. Some of us have been spending time at the new community for folks with a love of old houses at wavyglass.org
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Re: I never thought moving would be so sad/depressing...

Postby S Melissa on Sun Apr 15, 2012 12:24 pm

Kelsie - the farm house is adorable! I've never had to move from my "forever house" and I hope the only time I do is in a pine box with a toe tag . . .but who knows? Neighbors of mine bought an old farm house - really on the verge of being bull-dozed and if it wasn't for me standing on my hind legs and threatening to resign from office, did the house miss the dozer (it was owned by our township). They bought it and began the terrible task of renovating it - it has become like a magazine spread. They did all the work themselves (he's a contractor). They've been there since 2001. Raised their kids there - it is there "forever home". Well, he now desires another profession and has been going to school to achieve the credentials for it, and in order to afford the new profession they have to downsize (the house was tiny when they bought it, they've added considerably to the house and it's now 3000 s.f. - with over an acre - built in pool, barn, garage. So after agonizing over the decision, they've put the house up for sale - and have bought a plot of land further out in the country in which to build a new "old" house much smaller and it will be paid in full. They too have cried and cried over this decision - especially Jo - she's really torn up about it. But they believe this is in their best interest for the family, and are making the choice. They saved this house. The new owners will be tasked with maintaining it. You saved your house, and the new owners will be tasked with maintaining it. I hope you sell well. And you will now be tasked with saving yet another house - this one where you can hear the birds sing, smell the sweet scent of fresh air, and the warmth of a freshly picked tomato from your garden. In the end, it will be fine. You'll be fine.
Here's a link to the house I was referring to -it's really beautiful!

http://www.greatmichiganhouses.com/homes/6205-Ridge-Road/21261893/?index=9
Melissa
Canton, MI
1860 Italianate - Reuben Huston Home
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