For KathyJB

[Neighmond]

Dinosaurs indeed!

"Here lies the Fat Man, Cut down in his prime
To sleep in the grave to the end of time.
What did him in, In the Bloom of youth?
What laid him low? We need the truth!
'Twas not bad companions, Nor illicit drugs,
Nor an ill-timed encounter With a band of thugs.
'Twas not fast cars, Nor too much booze,
Nor Ill-advised consort With a barroom flooze.
No fancy roadster, Nor gruesome wrecks,
Too much good food, or too much sex!

No thugs, no drugs, no dames, no car?!
Oh No! The truth is stranger far!
While out in the garden, hoeing the peas
He thought he felt a stiffening breeze,
And as the breeze was fetid and warm,
Guessed they were in for a dandy storm,
So he took up the rake, the basket and hoe
and got things ready so he could go!

He turned towards home, and then he saw
Them fearsome teeth in a gaping maw,
Beady old eyes and scaly flanks,
The thing was the size of them army tanks!
By the time he saw it, 'twas already too late
His doom was sealed, and death his fate!
He tried to run, but he was too fat
And he got eaten right where he was at!

So remember him, friends, whatever you do
It happened to him, it could happen to you!
Now he's dead in the grave, and under the soil
The next you see of him will be two pints of oil!
And perhaps in the line, on judgement day
What a whale of a story, he'll have to relay!
Now he turned in his chips, and cashed in his checks,
For he was et by a dynosaures Rex!"

[KathyJB]

Did you write that?

[Neighmond]

I surely did write it, and I'll tell you just why,
Too much more of that bickering and the feathers might fly!
I thought if we talked about guns anymore
It might stir up a sh--storm, and a third world war.....

But of gardens, and dinosaurs, we all can relate!
And being eaten is funny (unless you're gettin' ate!)
So let's all get along! Relax and take five!
Make the best of your life; no one gets out alive!
We all love old houses-let us work towards that end!

--That's the end of the sermon, let us all say Amen!--

[KathyJB]

I'll agree to disagree
and that's no lie,
But I live in Texas
to be without arms
just won't fly

I'll talk about gardens.
I love working with plants
Just tell me one thing
how do I get rid of fireants?

I also have a problem with whiteflies,
They suck the life out of my plants,
I've tried all the natural solutions,
but the whiteflies still dance.

Ok I suck at rhyming. Seriously, the Systemic Insect stuff works, but they keep coming back. The whiteflies I mean. It's about $14.00 a bottle and I need almost two to spray everything I'm thinking about pulling all my plants and burning them to kill the flies because everything is sick and not growing anyway. But that leaves them living and breeding in the dirt.

[Abuela]

LOL I Love you guys!!!

[Neighmond]

I don't know alot about fire ants, except you don't want them to get in your pants,
Like any other ant I've seen, don't mess with the drones if you can't kill the queen.
They say that some alcohol, dish soap, and water will take them away, like a lamb to the slaughter.
That boric acid or Diatomaceous Earth will cause them to regret the day of their birth!




Oh the white-fly is a blighter, so I hear the people say
He latches on to the belly of leaves and sucks their life away!
Chemicals often will not work-they build resistance quick!
So listen while I tell you all about this little trick!

Go get some yellow cardboard, and hang it to a string
one piece for every couple plants where the white-flies do their thing
Mix mineral oil and Vaseline, and coat it good and thick
The yellow paint attracts them, and the Vaseline makes 'em stick!

Each now-and-then take a popsicle stick and scrape off all the chunks
Re-coat and rehang, repeat as before, and save all the bits for the skunks.
When the fly numbers drop, then your trapping should stop so you don't kill off all of your bees
And since the traps are non-toxic, when you throw them away, you can do it however you please!

[KathyJB]

Oh the white-fly is a blighter, so I hear the people say
He latches on to the belly of leaves and sucks their life away!
Chemicals often will not work-they build resistance quick!
So listen while I tell you all about this little trick!

Go get some yellow cardboard, and hang it to a string
one piece for every couple plants where the white-flies do their thing
Mix mineral oil and Vaseline, and coat it good and thick
The yellow paint attracts them, and the Vaseline makes 'em stick!

Each now-and-then take a popsicle stick and scrape off all the chunks
Re-coat and rehang, repeat as before, and save all the bits for the skunks.
When the fly numbers drop, then your trapping should stop so you don't kill off all of your bees
And since the traps are non-toxic, when you throw them away, you can do it however you please!

I like that idea! Except the part about feeding skunks. I'd rather they stay in the suburbs....the rural suburbs. You must be a writer, blogger, something. If not you are wasting a very entertaining talent on lil' ol' me.

[wletson]

I am not very good at this rhyme
I don't do it much of the time
For a while I can do it
Then I'll say "screw it"
then it just ends up crappy.

[PowerMuffin]

You guys ROCK!
Diane

[downtowndahlgren]

Warren, I think you just developed the double haiku.